Principals of Tantra
In India, where the beginnings of tantra date back 5-6000 years, it is seen as an entire way of life. In the West, however much more of the emphasis is placed on just the sexual aspects of the spiritual journey. Even using just the sexual principles and practicing their deeper meanings will result in absorption of tantra in other areas of your life.
Consciousness
A good part of what tantra is about concerns living where you are. This means participating in life, not just observing it. Consciousness of the sexual aspects while you are doing them is called being focused, but tantric sex is much more than being focused on a goal to be achieved and then left behind. Worse, much of what takes place in your day to day life is not done because of conscious determination to do so, but is nothing more than a habit. Sleeping, eating and often work and leisure time activities are all performed more or less with no attention. Unfortunately, much of sexual activity becomes a habit as well.
In our goal oriented society, orgasm is given no more thought than the rest of our actions, but in another sense, it is the purpose of our sexual activity. In this, as in much of our other activities, we hurry though life, reaching for this goal or the next and never taking the time, or allowing ourselves to recognize that the enjoyment should be in the journey, not in the conclusion.
Tantric philosophy teaches you to become conscious of everything that you do, whether it is moving or listening or lovemaking. If you remove the striving after an orgasm from the equation of lovemaking, it places it in an entirely different light. Each part of the lovemaking is treasured and enjoyed. The senses are focused on each moment’s pleasures, not on the future achievement of a single goal.
One of the main ways to achieve this consciousness and increased intimacy with your partner is to gaze into their eyes while lovemaking. Known as soul-gazing in tantric literature, it is truly an effective way to be present in the moment with your partner during lovemaking.
Vulnerability
Trust of your partner to revere and love you during your most vulnerable moments is a learned trait. However, you must make yourself vulnerable to each other in order to prove trust. For women, this is widely accepted in Western society particularly, but it is an almost unknown trait among men. They are not allowed be vulnerable, particularly in the area of sexual prowess. Tantric lovemaking requires that both the man and woman become open and vulnerable to each other. This opens up the deepest kind of communication possible. The balance between male and female, between strength and vulnerability is part of what makes tantric sex so different from that other simply physical sex. You become vulnerable when you allow another to see into the deepest part of you and to become one with them in order to help both achieve balance.
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